Crazy drinking day in Hyde Park
At the moment it is Easter bank holiday weekend and there isn’t an awful lot to do except drink and eat chocolate. So on saturday myself, Duncan and Brown decided to go get pissed in a park. On the way things were already getting intersting with Duncan shouting at a couple of 5 year olds for not riding bikes on the road. Took us about an hour to get into Leeds because the trains weren’t working so had to get several buses which was a general ball ache but was presumed to be worth it.
On entering the supermarket Duncan just shouts out because they were selling bags of stones for £1 a go which seemed just stupid, proceeding this he managed to split a bag and spill them everywhere so we had to bail to the alcohol section where managed to open a bottle of beer by just picking up a crate (how I do not know). We also needed to get Brown some deodorant as he stank of smoke from the bonfire the night before so we went to Boots and used up all the testers on him before being chased out by the security guards, it’s all a bit of banter.
We finally managed to get to Hyde Park and pitch up. I say pitch up, we just sat down and opened the crates we had bought and tried to get some of the beer cold using the ice we had bought. Unfortunately there was not a toilet in this park so we ended up “having” to piss on a local curry house which seemed really funny right up until the owner came along and chased us away. It was around this time we got hungry and Brown bought ice cream, we felt we had not got our money’s worth so demanded more ice cream and when we got what we wanted ended up not being given any change; oh well Brown went off to get money at this point and later returned with a disposable bbq and meat which was a damn site better than ice cream.
The beer wasn’t really doing it for Duncan and Brown so they went off around the park and bought some weed from a random person in the park and they proceeded to get stoned. This was around the point we discovered Brown, alcohol and weed do not mix and we proceeded to pass out in the park so it was decided to sell him as he was too big to move. This led to the next incident of some bloke trying to mug us as we are “cheeky bastards who deserve to be slit”, unfortunately he didn’t realise there was 3 of us and 1 of him and he quickly walked on with a can of beer for being an idiot.
A vote was taken and we decided to move on, not before Brown threw up everywhere though. On the way back we walked past a takeout selling a Big Dripper and decided we had to have it. Unfortunately this resulted in Brown throwing up everywhere again inside the takeout which was annoying.
Finally we made it back into town and had to get the annoying network of buses to get back home and this was our random day out in the park.
I think more was needed
I felt the summary of my life since I stopped blogging was inadequate so I have got a collection of photos which sums up my life (to a certain extent) from January 2007 to the end of Feburary 2007. Normal routine (of updating) will start again tomorrow.
Uni life
I believe that this is my first entry to this blog since I moved into my halls of residance at Newcastle University. I have to say it is pretty awesome and I get on with everyone on my floor. I am now going to attempt to list everyone on my floor as a little test for myself….me, Sam, Adam, Matt, Simon, Dan, Tom, Andy, Bill, Toby, Angus, James….can’t remember the last guys name, oh well.
Been pretty good, probably a bit too much drinking as I woke up on the corridor floor yesterday morning but I felt it was a sign of a good night out really. Women are also pretty easy to get off with as well but I am not sure if that was just because it was freshers week.
I don’t really have anything interesting to add at this time but I am sure I will be able to think of something soon.
EDIT: the guys name that I could not remember is James.
The Aero story
I love this story mainly because it’s funny and happened to one of the rowers. Anyway this guy called Fred is a rower and they were all in Italy. The cox Steve likes to abuse people and one night they all got drunk and he basically shoved an Aero bar (a chocolate bar, check wikipedia) up his ass.
Fred wakes up in the morning to find he has a melted bar of chocolate in his crack. I thought it was pretty funny anyway.
Carling Weekend Festival: Leeds
I could of written this before now but I have been busy at work as you do after festival so I feel pretty fucked at the moment. You guys should feel very luck as this post is going to include numerous photos (most of them rubbish quality but there you go). So the adventure begins.
It all started with the prepartion for the big day of leaving. This prepartion basically involved making the camp flag and also “obtaining” suitable transport to move the beer from the car to the place where were going to camp. Me and Zach created the flag and it can be seen below.
This flag was a work of genius (in our opinion, my mum was not overally impressed) but it was not enough- we needed more damnit. Anyway Zach went off to Rosie’s and Duncan came over and we proceeded to go to Tesco to obtain a trolley. Now when “obtaining” a trolley there are several factors that should be considered. If you have to pay for the trolley is an important factor, another being how big the trolley is and what the wheel base is like. We discovered that Tesco has the best trolleys so we got one and proceeded to modify it.
Now all the basics had been covered. The purchasing of food and this year cider (Strongbow is the way forward, not only is it strong it tastes quite nice warm) so everything was ready - I had even packed so now it was time to have a good nights rest and get ready to go.
Both me and Duncan were driving this year. I only had to take Zach but Duncan had Fred and Steve (the legend) in his car so naturally he had more stuff. Unfortunately I don’t have a roof rack so Duncan had to put the trolley on his car as well as his and everyone he was taking stuff.
I would just like to point out just how low his car is sitting, didn’t seem to bother him anyway. So this was the start of the Leeds Fest experience and off we went. I had to follow Duncan and his crazy driving where we (or more like I) only nearly crashed a few times.
We arrived at the car park in one piece, after having some fun with novelty horn signs to discover that the gates had not yet been open and there was a huge queue which we were pretty near the back of.
When this sort of thing happens there is only one thing to do - get the chairs out and start drinking. Fred pointed out at this point that only in Britain would you find a nice orderly queue to a gate, in every other country he said that everyone would be pushing to get in. After this commented we decided to be European and to cut more or less the whole queue and be the first into the campsite and it worked like a charm (mainly because we used Bert to ram people out of the way).
The important thing at Leeds Fest to guarantee a good time is get a good camping spot. For us this means travelling to the Yellow Valley campsite which tends to be craziest of places to camp so naturally you are going to have the most fun!! Only slight downer was that we were parked nowhere near Yellow Valley so we had a bit of a treck on our hands but it was well worth it when we finally made it.
The tents went up rather quickly and everything as thrown in. We also had to set up Amar’s tent as he was not arriving until the next day due to work commitments. He just so happened to have the biggest tent and no sooner as we had put it up it started to piss it down so we all got into it and started to drink.
When the rain stopped, we all went to check out our tents and surprise surprise mine had leaked and there was a nice puddle at the bottom of it- oh the joys (wet sleeping bag is not nice). Didn’t really care at this point but Zach managed to blag a tent off Rosie (the bird) so we would at least have somewhere to sleep which was dry from the thursday onwards.
Anyway, as the rain started to ease off the true legendary ginger that is Brown shows up and announces he has a marquee. Marquee is quite a loose discription I would say, basically he had the biggest ground sheet (something stupid like 60 square foot) and proceeded to put it up using big metal poles. There were three great things about this “marquee”, firstly it gave us all somewhere to chill when it was raining on that first night, saved us a big camping space as no one would want to camp by it and thirdly we now had our own toilet!!
The marjority of the evening was spent drinking and meeting randoms (including the neighbours) like this guy.
Fred kicked a few fires over and got caught by security but luckily the secuirty were all racist and just dismissed what the black security guy was saying about Fred. Steve also fell over in Cosy Camper and me and Zach found Duncan passed out in Amar’s tent, we presumed he was dead and left him.
Not a nice sleep (wet sleeping bags) so got ended up getting up at like 6am which was a ball breaker, Zach didn’t seem to like it anyway.
Had to do a bit of cooking to warmed up. I have forgotten to include a photo of the campsite but this is it basically- rather good we thought.
Now I would like to tell you one of the genius things about these festivals. They have second hand stalls which sell really random clothing and it all tends to be pretty cheap. Duncan bought this leather sheep jacket thing on the wednesday and on thursday it was decided that hats would be a good investment, to look cool and to stay warm at night when running round causing havoc. Hats were therefore bought.
Pretty pimping ey? Most of the rest of this day was spent drinking. We also decided to “test” Bert out. This testing was basically trying to let the organisers let Brown use Bert on the skate ramps, they refused so instead Brown went down the big hill at Orange camp. This won’t mean anything to anyone who hasn’t been to Leeds but lets just say it is BIG and no one made any video evidence as no one could watch as we all thought he would die. Anyway the end result was Bert being confiscated by security. I do have a video of the test run we did but that wasn’t really on a hill but it might give you an idea of why security took Bert away from us.
Another activity that happened on thursday was raw meat throwing. There is something satisfying about throwing raw meat and Duncan took great pleasure in throwing a couple of burgers.
I cannot actually remember much of this day except lots of people turned up and I got strangled by Sarah when she attempted to drunken hug me. I think in the evening the 5-a-side football pitch was destroyed as festivallers decided it should be more like 50 a-side which was funny. Some Duracell tent raving might of also been conducted.
Rolls on friday. Good sleep got up at about 10 (I would consider this an abnormality for me at Leeds as I am a pretty light sleeper). Anyway can’t really remember much of this day except that the bands started!! Also, Brown’s friend Stu turned up which resulted in some funny things happening but more on this later. First band I saw was iForward, Russia! who were very good and from the area. Proper crazy, here is a photo from the performance.
After this, we returned to camp before heading off again to watch GLC (Goldie Lookin Chain). If you are not aware of GLC then you should be, get some of their albums right away. They seem to be at Leeds Fest every year and each year they move further and further down the bill/stages. Funny as ever, I have some photo action to share with you people and I will upload the videos I made of their performance as well because I am nice like that.
On returning from GLC we found several of our camp in the piss tent which had been modified by Stu and they were all stoned (or just VERY chilled out). I have never seen people this stoned before (except for the following days as these people seemed to take it to a new level everyday, if they were in fact stoned). This is all down to somebody’s home grown, no drug dealing going on on our camp.
Rolled on the evening of friday at Leeds Fest. I had wanted to go to see Placebo but it seemed far too much effort, slightly gutted now but I will live with the fact I didn’t see them. Instead me and Zach went to the dance tent for a bit to see some random DJ before going to watch The Kooks. Everyone was complaining about the crush but we got to the front and there was loads of room - we were dancing about and everything. Their set was pretty shit as security came on part way through and shouted at everyone so they slowed it down a bit. I took quite a few photos of this performance.
After The Kooks, me and Zach went to get Duncan and Legend before proceeding to the dance tent to watch 2 Many DJs. Was absolutely raving in there and had a right laugh dancing too some tunes (I would like to point out that I was not on anything all weekend and at this moment in time I was barely drunk). Didn’t stay for all of the set but a far bit of it but it was probably one of my highlights of the weekend.
On returning to camp we discovered that the piss tent had been destroyed and the culprits had left a Japanese flag - damn Japs!!! (only joking, please don’t sue me). Rest of the night was spent drinking and meeting random people.
Unfortunately my phone was out of battery on the saturday so there is no photos of this day which as a bit of a shame. First band I saw were the Pigeon Detectives who were really good. Not really sure what happened between this time and Gorgol Bordello but I think we went round having a laugh; stealing nuts, coat hangers, abusing vegans - you know the usual. The problem was when we went to see Gorgol Bordello the NME Radio 1 Stage was behind and it was actually the Guillemots playing. They were alright but we didn’t pay much attention.
Gorgol Bordello were amazing though, really crazy pits and stuff. All their fans were mental and they put a right show in. Really enjoyed myself and was real sweaty afterwards. Again another highlight of my weekend.
I went to see Little Man Tate and bumped into Chris Moyles were was watching the band with who I presume were his girlfriend then some younger relations of his. LMT were alright, from Sheffield and seem to be a bit of a rip off of the Arctic Monkeys except their lyrics aren’t exactly amazing and they tend to be a bit more rocky. Was still a bit of a laugh and was quite a good show.
In the evening we went to watch Kaiser Chiefs which everyone slowly bailed out of, as they were no good. They would probably of been alright but no one could be bothered going to rock out so we stayed fairly far back and just took it in. As I was walking back to the campsite Dizzee Rascal was playing (I had forgotten he was on at Leeds) so went to check him. He was pretty good, couldn’t understand much of what he was saying but I enjoyed myself at least. Had a good time listening to the rap but didn’t stay for long.
Went to see a bit of Primal Scream later on that night as well, they were pretty good but a few of the songs sounded quite similar and it got a bit tedious so we left before any of the “big” songs came on. We did however dance around a guy passed out on the floor and do the hokey kokey which was quite fun. We also walked past a man doing naughty things with a woman outside the NME Radio 1 tent which was quite funny.
I got up on sunday to find that some of our neighbours had gone a bit crazy with their marquee thing and had put tents and stuff on top of it.
We also got a visit from the security staff. They wanted to take the piss tent away as they thought it was going to be burnt at night because of the riots Leeds is renouned for. No one wanted to touch it though as it was covered in piss so it ended up staying. If you wanted to know, this is what our campsite looked like on the sunday morning.
Today was spent packing up Rosie’s tent as we did not want it get destroyed and generally mess around as we had no one to go see until quite late in the afternoon. A lot of raw meat was thrown as well as other things. Duncan had hit a neighbour in the face with a sausage already which they weren’t too happy with but we also had got someone with some pasta salad and we threw more or less anything in our campsite.
Another comical even that happened was that we have a rule called “move your feet lose your seat” where if you get up you lose your seat. Now our friend Dave was being a cock and would walk round with a chair so he didn’t lose his seat (not that it was his chair or anything) so Fred tried to pull him off it which resulted in the chair being broken. He still refused to get off it, so me and Fred picked up the chair with him in it and threw him onto the piss tent. Dave was now covered in piss - we all thought it was funny anyway that he was covered in 5 day old piss of about 300 festivalers.
Some of us got a bit of this after a while and we went to see what we thought would be Be Your Own Pet for the simple fact that they are supposed to be crazy but it ended up being The Automatic. Turns out they have more than one good song and the show was good. Especially since we started loads of pits (even though not many people were up for it as they were quite young).
I then ran to watch DPT (Dirty Pretty Things) on the main stage and this is where I was planning on staying for the rest of the day. I had to say I was not too impressed with their set, it didn’t seem that good but I stayed and watched anyway. It wasn’t the worst performance of the weekend by far, it just wasn’t the best.
The crowd got a bit bored inbetween acts and a human pyramid was attempted. Unfortunately I was not quick enough with the camera so I only managed to capture it when it was all falling a part but felt I should share this with you anyway.
Feeder came on after DPT and I was randomly joined by Brown and Zach (yes we managed to bump into eachother at the main stage which is quite an accomplishment). I have seen them once before so knew they were good and that it was going to be pretty mental. My hopes were not dimished - it was absolutely crazy and I have never had such a laugh. Didn’t really dare going in their pits though as a load of people were just hitting eachother which was just a bit too crazy for my liking. There is also a photo of me and Brown near the end of the set - we look sweaty to say the least. The hat I am wearing is not mine I would like to point out, I had stolen it off of some random and thought it was quite funny to wear.
A lot of the crowd left after Feeder. I don’t think people were too keen on seeing The Streets but I knew they put on a good show and work the crowed well so stuck around. Mike Skinner had everyone jumping in time, flags swaying in time and got everyone to sit down and jump up at the same time. He also got everyone to take their shirts off and have them swinging around their heads which was a laugh. The Streets were also really good live musically, I would say it was another highlight of the weekend.
Now the crowd started to push and it became very compact/clostraphobic. This was because the Arctic Monkeys were due on. When they did come on the crowd went crazy but it was not the most pleasant of experiences because it was so tightly packed and crowd surfers were being beaten which is a bit uncalled for. They played a good set but didn’t really seem to work the crowd and just relied on the songs to do this. I had seen them the year before at Leeds in the Carling tent and had preferred that performance to this one - mainly because it had been filled with original fans rather than tagger ons who only know the new songs and none of the demos.
The heavens opened at this point and it became very wet. Around this time I realised just how hungry and called I was. I attempted to hang around for as much of the Muse set as a I could but I gave up after an hour and ran to the car to put dry clothes on and to warm up. I returned to the campsite with people being rather wet and Duncan and Smithy had been round robbing places.
I went back to the car with Zach and on our return everyone had disappeared. So we walked around a bit and followed people carrying gazeebos and stuff before settling down to people sliding down the hills in the mud. I had a video of the “bucket of doom”. You cannot really make our what is going on but you can get a rough idea of what is going on.
After this we decided to call it a day and to end our Leeds Fest experience. It took us a long time to get out of the car park as some car had broken down and a woman was having an epileptic fit. I think I was too tired to be driving as I drove onto a roundabout at one point and almost crashed into a car at the traffic lights but we made it home safely and that was the end of Leeds Fest 2006.
The last thing I would like to add is that Fred has made a video of our Leeds Fest experience. It mainly contains footage of the last day and I am only featured on it throwing sausages but it is still a funny video.
I would like to point out that I have been working on this entry on and off for about a week so if it appears or is disjointed I apologise but it better be the best entry ever written, ever!!
Carling Leeds Festival Weekend coming up
I have to say people that this time of year seems to come around more and more quickly for me. Tomorrow I will be heading off to Bramaham Park for this awesome festival and I cannot wait. Most people have to wait until the thursday usually to be able to gain access to the camping area but me and some friends have bought early permit passes so we can go in from 2pm wednesday.
This year should be better than last year as I know more people who are going and I also believe that the line up is in fact better. So don’t be expecting much of an update until monday or tuesday of next week as I am not going to be home!!! I shall try and give a good review and with my new phone (N73, expensive but with sweet 3.2 megapixel camera) I should be able to provide some good photos.
Left school
Yesterday I left my school forever after being there for 7 long years. I have only technically left in the fact that I have no more lessons, but I still need to go in for exams and after the exams are over there is the leavers weekend when you officially leave with a big party.
So on the last day of term our year got dressed up in the old school uniform and me and Zach went and did some extreme ironing. Starting off in the ICT block and in the history department to business. At break I went into the girls toilets (with some girls checking it was clear first) and threw a load of bouncy balls out of the window.
I had to go get the ironing stuff from the car again at this point and I noticed my friend had parked his car on the school roundabout- that made me laugh a lot. So did a bit more ironing getting 2 more teachers to iron me before just chilling and then having the last ever school meal (which was not of the high quality I had hoped for).
Bit of car abuse was done to my mate Elliot because we had silly string and he was driving with his windows down (it was asked for really) before he buggered off. But the car fun had only just begun. When me, Banky and Jimmy were walking back to the sixth form centre we were stopped by Scott, Freddy and Weaving who told us to come with them and for us all to drive around the playground. Sounded like something fun to do so we did it. However it didn’t got completey according to plan as the road around to sports centre to the playground was blocked so we had to drive past the headmasters house (a lot of horn action happened at this point just to piss him off). So eventually arrived at the playground drove round some kids with the horns going off before a bit of wheel spinning etc. before returning. Whilst going back to the car park my friend decided to cut across the fields (it was wet so no one else did this but it was still fucking funny).
A lock now needed to be purchased which we did, this will all become obvious later. On returning to the sixth form centre everyone was playing off ground tig which was shit but we managed to convert it into one massive pit so that was fun.
My friend then decided to drive down the banking of school which was pretty funny and we all went off to the pub to chill and get ready for the task in hand. Me, Banky, Amar, Zach, Jimmy, Baker and Pedder all ran back into school and padlocked the gates into school shut before going off to hide. No sooner had we done this that Mr Moffat turned up and was locked out of school with Miss Bruce locked in school. Some parents arrived and tried to take our number plates down and call the police so we all fucked off back to the pub with Trig eventually taking the lock off for them.
In the pub we had the great idea of padlocking the gate again so we did but with a lot more people wanting to help out. I went home at this point as I had somethings to take care of but apparently everyone just parked up outside school sounding their horns.
Then in the evening of this amazing day nearly all of our year went out drinking and went out drinking in our retro school uniforms. It was a great night with a lot of drinking going on.
1 Month No Drink
That’s right I went for a whole month without consuming a drop of alcohol. To those who are not yet of age to buy alcohol legally this may not see like a big deal but to me it is. Staying “T-Total” when I could quite easily go down the pub for a quick pint is a lot harder than it sounds, especially when all of your mates around you are drinking as well.
However my lack of drinking has caused me to remember every night out I’ve been on when everyone else has been drinking and I haven’t been drinking as well as saved me quite a bit of money.
The weird thing in all this is that on Saturday I was feeling really tired and not very well but I still went out for my friends birthday and had a couple of drinks. When I got home I felt better and my mum said I looked better. Maybe I was suffering from withdrawl symptons from not drinking? Who knows.
The sixth form ball
It was a good night to say the least. It was starting between 7 and 7:30 at the bar but I got to the hotel at 5 to start with the drinking a bit early. I was trying to keep costs down so bought a 24 pack of beer and got pissed in several people’s rooms. At some point I was chased by a receptionist for bringing my own beer but I managed to out-run her and hide.
So by the time the ball actually started I was pretty drunk but it was ok because Elliot (officially legend of the year) was waisted as well. I did some mingling and ate a bit. Watched the awards and shouted out classic comments such as “Get your tits out for the lads” for the award of Best Breasts of the West and “He fucks his mum” for most likely to be successful.
Awards
Best Looking Male: Tom Baker
Best Looking Female: Jessica Haslam
Best Dressed Male: Ashley Coward
Best Dressed Female: Sophie Hinchcliff
Worst Gangstar: Charles Mostin
Most Likely to go to Jail: Liam Blatchford
Alcoholic of the Year: Damaris Treasure
Most Likely to be Famous: Amy Wilson
Most Successful: Hayen Taylor
Chav of the Year: Scott Dixon
Chavette of the Year: Jenny Singh
Mummy’s Boy: Ollie Midgley
Daddy’s Girl: Emma Humphreys
Rear of the Year: Jill Harrison
Best Breasts of the West: Emily Lighthowler
Most Like to Wake up Next to (Male): Freddy Straud
Most Like to Wake up Next to (Female): Laura Guillion
Legend of the Year: Elliot Aboudi
So most of the night I did some awesome dancing (yes I am a good dancer) but alas all the photos of me make me look really really drunk. Got asked to go into Ilkley with Becki but my taxi turned up to late and by then she had gone home which sucked a bit.
All in all a very good night. Photos at photobucket
Got that friday feeling?
Friday at school was a bit different, well it wasn’t. Some people had gone to Paris on a trip so a lot of my year had decided that gave them the right to skive school which I thought was pretty funny. I only had 4 lessons and they just so happened to be the first 4 so after that I had nothing to do but had to stay to do some bloody assembly which sucked so I ended up staying at school all day when I could of gone home before lunch.
Starkey didn’t have any lessons until after lunch so me, him and Baker went up to Sainsbury’s and spent about half an hour selecting what shit we should have for lunch. I got some dodgy microwave pizza and they got some microwave pizza and noodles. As you can guess it was a very nutritional meal.
Once this amazing meal had been eaten me and Starkey stole the speakers from downstairs and hooked them up to the prefect common room sound system so we could listen to some high quality tuneage. I naturally did some amazing dancing and a bit of chair wars. I think I went downstairs at one point and announced we had created a gay club upstairs and anyone was invited (I think I scared Becki a bit with this).
The afternoon was spent watching some rubbish film and listening to my music before MP3 player ran out. So basically did nothing in the afternoon which sucked a bit really.
Friday night went into Leeds and met up with Starkey, Baker, Emma H, Jo, Angus, Raine, Alice and Tom to go watch “A Cock and Bull Story”. Film was alright- where it was funny it was very funny but parts of it were just to random and I didn’t see the point of where it was going. After the film we all went to Brown’s for a drink but Tom and Alice went home.
Me and Starkey split from the others and went for the train. Turned out we just missed it and had to wait an hour for the next one. Starkey decides to have some McDonald’s as you do and we went to Witherspoons to meet up with the Parish.
Chilled there for a bit and went to catch the train. On the train I bumped into a couple of blokes who I know including the meathead that is Josh. Much fun was had on the train as I bumped into some guy who is mates which someone who lives near me (he taught me how to get films for free).
Some point in the night I think I sent Becki a message saying “I aint gonna let you give up drinking in ilkley. I will take you out sometime and show you that you can have a good time and will get served. Xx” Maybe that wasn’t really a good idea? Oh well I guess I will find out on monday as I am pretty sure she ain’t gonna reply to that partly because it was just so random.
