Left school
Yesterday I left my school forever after being there for 7 long years. I have only technically left in the fact that I have no more lessons, but I still need to go in for exams and after the exams are over there is the leavers weekend when you officially leave with a big party.
So on the last day of term our year got dressed up in the old school uniform and me and Zach went and did some extreme ironing. Starting off in the ICT block and in the history department to business. At break I went into the girls toilets (with some girls checking it was clear first) and threw a load of bouncy balls out of the window.
I had to go get the ironing stuff from the car again at this point and I noticed my friend had parked his car on the school roundabout- that made me laugh a lot. So did a bit more ironing getting 2 more teachers to iron me before just chilling and then having the last ever school meal (which was not of the high quality I had hoped for).
Bit of car abuse was done to my mate Elliot because we had silly string and he was driving with his windows down (it was asked for really) before he buggered off. But the car fun had only just begun. When me, Banky and Jimmy were walking back to the sixth form centre we were stopped by Scott, Freddy and Weaving who told us to come with them and for us all to drive around the playground. Sounded like something fun to do so we did it. However it didn’t got completey according to plan as the road around to sports centre to the playground was blocked so we had to drive past the headmasters house (a lot of horn action happened at this point just to piss him off). So eventually arrived at the playground drove round some kids with the horns going off before a bit of wheel spinning etc. before returning. Whilst going back to the car park my friend decided to cut across the fields (it was wet so no one else did this but it was still fucking funny).
A lock now needed to be purchased which we did, this will all become obvious later. On returning to the sixth form centre everyone was playing off ground tig which was shit but we managed to convert it into one massive pit so that was fun.
My friend then decided to drive down the banking of school which was pretty funny and we all went off to the pub to chill and get ready for the task in hand. Me, Banky, Amar, Zach, Jimmy, Baker and Pedder all ran back into school and padlocked the gates into school shut before going off to hide. No sooner had we done this that Mr Moffat turned up and was locked out of school with Miss Bruce locked in school. Some parents arrived and tried to take our number plates down and call the police so we all fucked off back to the pub with Trig eventually taking the lock off for them.
In the pub we had the great idea of padlocking the gate again so we did but with a lot more people wanting to help out. I went home at this point as I had somethings to take care of but apparently everyone just parked up outside school sounding their horns.
Then in the evening of this amazing day nearly all of our year went out drinking and went out drinking in our retro school uniforms. It was a great night with a lot of drinking going on.
Long time, no update
I have not really updated this in a long time for several reasons which I am not going to go into great detail now. I have been competing in rowing regattas on saturdays recently which have taken up quite a lot of time with preparation amongst other things (this does not include the training we do). These regattas have been fairly successful even though we did not win any finals we still did very well racing in the mens category especially considering we are under funded and cannot really afford much of our own equipment.
In the UK it is exam time with GCSE’s, AS-Levels and A2’s commending as well as whatever Universities are going to do. For me this exam time involves retaking some AS-Levels and doing my A2’s for the first time. This is very important for me as these exams are going to decide my whole future as University applications are decided on with these exams- not fun.
I will try and update with nice and important things but unfortunately I am quite occupied with revision, drinking and other things guys like. I will leave you by saying check out the 3 new videos of Brown on the hardcorelife, I am sure you will enjoy them.
Quite possibly the best joke ever
My cousin just sent me this joke, you could call it slightly rude but I think it is really funny. Lots of swearing so you have been warned.
An out of work pianist with Tourette’s Syndrome is strolling around the
streets and bars of Soho one unemployed afternoon.Walking down Dean Street he sees a lounge bar with a sign in the window
“Pianist wanted for evening performances’”“Fucking get in there you cunt!’ he says to himself and goes to the bar.
“Get the fucking manager of this pigs’ arse middle class pisshole please you
cunt’, he says to a somewhat startled barman.The barman however obliges and his manager comes upstairs. ‘Can I help you
sir?’ he says.
‘Yes you can, you fat piece of shit”, says the pianist, “I saw your poxy
advert in the fucking window and I’m here to audition…..wanker.’The manager is naturally put off by the man’s abrasive manner but his dire
need for a top class pianist forces him to agree to an audition. The first
tune the Pianist plays is an uplifting jazzy number, not too involving, yet
utterly melodic. At the end the thrilled barman cries, ‘Wonderful,
wonderful. What was that called?’‘That song, you big nosed cunt, was called “Excuse me prime minister but I
just jizzed in your daughter’s eye, and now the cunt’s blind…’‘Oh’ says the manager ‘err, can you play me another, something a little less
“lively”.’‘Fucking wanker.’ interjects the pianist before launching into a powerful
ballad which leaves the manager in tears. The manager through his salty
teardrops asks him the title. ‘That little number was called “Sometimes when
you do a bird up the dirt box you get crap on your bell end.’‘I see’ says the manager, ‘Have you got any songs with less offensive
titles?’‘Well there’s my jazz number “Do you want me to split your ringpiece”, or
there’s the epic “I don’t care if you’re older my dear, you’ve still got
nice fucking jugs”.‘Look’ says the manager interrupting, ‘I think you’re a superb pianist but
the title of your songs are a little “racy”. I will hire you on the
condition that you do not introduce your songs or speak to the audience.’‘Fuck it’ says the pianist ‘Why not’.
On his first night everything is going superbly, the crowd are lapping up
his repertoire and his silence is being received as modesty. The only thing
putting off the pianist is that in the front row there is a gorgeous blonde
in a black evening dress with a split up the side revealing the tops of her
stockings, and a plunging neckline which boasts a proud and inviting
cleavage.During the interval the pianist has got such a stonking hard-on that he
decides to go to the bog and knock one out. Just as he has shot his muck he
hears himself being re-introduced over the tannoy, so he rushes back to the
stage and finishes his act.After the show he is at the bar relaxing when the blonde approaches him.
‘Hi’ she says.
‘Hello’ he winces, struggling to hold in the expletives.
She leans over and whispers in his ear, ‘Do you know your cock is hanging
out of your trousers, and spunk is dribbling onto your shoes?’‘Know it?’ says the pianist putting his beer on the bar confidently, ‘I
fucking wrote the cunt!!!’
Swing-A-Long With Brown
You may be wondering what “Swing-A-Long With Brown” is, well I can tell you know it is another video I have made of my friend who goes by several names. Basically it was the big ginger guy who did the free running video.
This video however is a bit different. This guy is pretty strong (abnormally some might say) and likes to do random things. It all started when he decided to swing some little kid round by the legs and I followed to film him do this to several other people on a camera phone. The next day he did it to a few more people except I was armed with my digital camera and hence the quality was better.
Went home, did a little bit of editing, added some credits, added “Fly or Die” by N*E*R*D and the video was complete. Enjoy.
